Mike Oxhard (downe8o8boi) wrote,
Mike Oxhard

Gay Dic

After-hours -- where you go when the bars are closed and you still haven't found someone to sleep with.

Baggage -- the excuse people use to punish their current boyfriends for things that their past boyfriends have done to them.

Bicurious -- gay

Bisexual -- gay

Bitter -- what all gay men are destined to become. Caused by drama and stress (see below).

Bottom -- orientation preferred by 95% of the gay population

Butch -- what gay men who don't think they act gay call themselves. Actual butch men will never need to use this term.

Cuddle -- sexual activity in which there is no exchange of bodily fluid.

Drama -- an imaginary condition made up by sad, lonely individuals with no real problems in their life who feel the need to drag stable, well-balanced individuals who are trying to make a valuable contribution to society down to their level in hopes of making themselves feel better.

Ex -- 1) anyone you've slept with more than once.
2) a club drug popular in the late 90's.

Excedrin -- what every gay man should have in his medicine cabinet.

Expiration Dating - Frequent hot sex with someone you know is only in town for a short period of time, and that you know you have no chance of actually dating seriously because they aren't local.

Gaylights -- an unnatural highlighting of the hair that no straight man would be caught dead with.

Gurl -- the first word of every sentence. "Gurl, you 'bout ready to go?" or "Gurl, I haven't had sex in 3 days!"

Gym Bunny -- a troll who has realized that his only chance of getting laid is to work out every day.

Hayyy -- a greeting. The gayer you are, the more Y's you put at the end.

Homewrecker -- the person who stole your ex

Omaha Diet -- unnatural weight loss caused by nonprescription medications. Also known as Jenny Crank.

One Night Stand or ONS -- a very short-term relationship, the end of which is signified by someone putting on their pants.

Mary- see Gurl.

Philson Sex -- sexual activity in which everybody wants to get off, but nobody does. Enables you to have a one night stand without actually becoming classified as a whore, yet still significantly more intensive than cuddling.

Rough Trade -- a one night stand that you will later pretend never happened.

Shot -- when you need to get drunker faster

Stress -- a non-imaginary condition brought on by the drama of others

Top -- see Bottom

Trade -- what you bring home from the bar, paid for in services rendered.

Troll - anyone older than you that wants you to go home with them.

Trick -- See Trade

Twelve -- how old you are if you're not 21

Universe -- the area of space contained within a three-foot diameter of every gay man.

Versatile -- glorified Bottom (but will top if absolutely necessary)

Whore -- anyone who has more sex than you.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment
i loved the one on "gurl"